1. |
||||
|
The Facebook Stalkers Guide to Love - By Andy Jackson
Sophie, 22, sits and lists her favourite things to do,
While Carl, 46, frantically scours her profile pics,
Sophie, single girl, dreams about seeing the whole world,
While Carl, married man, holds his manhood firmly in his hand,
Sophie, l o l's at the pack of lies this man tells,
And Carl, saves the files, in folder labelled 'kitchen sample tiles'
This is love, this is facebook stalker love,
A modem version of the rose and the dove,
Send flirts and likes instead of kisses and hugs,
To photo's taken from just in-front and above,
John, 31, loves his mates, curries and his mum,
As Rachel, 15, stares at his profile on the screen,
John, married man, status updating from his van,
As Rachel, naive girl, plans to bedazzle up John's world,
Poor John, silly chap, wanders straight into her trap,
And Rachel, films it all, and posts the pictures all round school,
This is love, this is facebook stalker love,
A modem version of the rose and the dove,
Send flirts and likes instead of kisses and hugs,
To photo's taken from just in-front and above,
So many smiling faces, in a plethora of places,
And the ones that draw the clickers,
Are always girls in just their knickers,
All potential victims, or obsessive clickings,
It's not as simple as it seems, watching others is in our genes,
We peek until our brain's are sore, then we peek just a little more,
Never get any closer, just a new way to repost ya,
This is love, this is facebook stalker love,
A modem version of the rose and the dove,
Send flirts and likes instead of kisses and hugs,
To photo's taken from just in-front and above,
It's a modem kind of love
|
||||
2. |
No Worries
04:45
|
|||
|
No Worries - by Andy Jackson
Low grades, achieved chiefly, because you didn't, bother to study,
But hey no worries, no worries, just chill out there is no hurry,
High hopes, so softly spoken, no jokes, when all is broken,
But hey no worries, no worries, just calm down no need to scurry,
Catch a break on the way up, and if not, the way back down,
and even if you miss it then, no worries, it will come back round,
Nice days, achieved chiefly, because they didn't, disagree with me,
So no worries, no worries, lets all go out and eat some curry,
Fowl stones, thrown indiscreetly, bounce back, almost completely,
So no worries, no worries, have bon lemons and minted murries,
Catch a break on the way up, and hell, if not, the way back down,
and if you miss it then, no worries, it will always come back around,
Time best observed through calm eyes,
Wait just a minute you'll be surprised,
Gold tailed angels swarming the skies,
And a moment of peace is worthy of reply
But no worries, no worries, if you don't care, at least I tried to share,
Sit back, no worries, no worries, this is all over now,
This is all over now
|
||||
3. |
Circles in the Crops
04:26
|
|||
|
Circles in the Crops - By Andy Jackson
Communicating any way she can,
Trying to get a message to man,
Wanting a mutually beneficial plan,
But no one ever seems to listen,
Poor Gaia, she tries, and i hope that she never stops,
Because the grain would still be tasty but the best part is the circular cro-o-ps,
the circular cro-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-p's
Complex stuff laid out for us,
Get people to start to distrust,
Open conversations without any fuss,
How can we get out of this blunderbuss?
Poor Gaia, she tries, and i hope that she never stops,
Because the land would be empty without the beautiful circles in the cro-o-ps,
Circles in the cro-oo-oo-oo-oo-p's
Spinning ball, so much bigger then us all,
One tiny creak of it's shell and mighty cities fall,
So beautiful, infinitely sensational,
One tiny blink of an eye and it can all un-spawl,
Wise Gaia, she's wise, so she always tries,
A crop circle surprise for when the farmer will rise,
(Whistle solo)
Poor Gaia, she tries, and i hope she never ever stops,
Because the grain would still be tasty,
But the land would feel quite empty,
if Gaia stopped putting circles in the crops,
|
||||
4. |
Another Email
05:37
|
|||
|
Another Email - By Andy Jackson
Robots do the cleaning, they do the cooking to,
In a world this mechanic, what's a human to do?
To avoid all the bleeping and gigabyte processors,
And stop the human race from becoming predecessors,
Write another email, post another blog, Tell the world it's going to hell, you're just keeping a log,
Watch a documentary, read the comments to, Just remember it would all be better if it were down to you,
Bankers take our paycheques, later our homes to,
In a world this corrupted, what's an honest one to do?
To avoid all the thieving, and greed based decisions,
Steer the race to the right path and not head on collisions,
Forward another email, repost another blog, Tell the world it's gone to hell, you're just keeping a log,
Re post a documentary, post a comment to, Just remember it would all be roses if it were down to you,
From any position, it's chaos in the sties,
How can you grasp the greasy truths if half of them are lies?
Constant repetition, of lamely cast disguise,
How can you speak an honest word and control what it implies?
Fashion runs for office, and gets voted in to,
In a world this sadistic, what's anyone to do?
To avoid all the spinning, and constant racketeering,
Turning into day-glow worms through genetic engineering
Delete another email, rewrite another blog, Tell the world it's changed a bit, you're updating your log,
Edit a documentary, reply to comments to, Just remember it can all be better it's all down to you,
|
||||
5. |
Prime
04:12
|
|||
|
Prime - By Andy Jackson
Heavy shoulders yawn,
Warning yet further,
Calm melodic nature,
Lightens old burdens,
I will always make the time,
I still feel I'm in my prime,
And if you really need it then I'll do it or at least i'll try and find, a way,
Help yourself, but if you need it ask someone else,
We are all stuck here together so might as well, help out,
Save yourself, and if you can then lift your hand and save someone else,
We are all drowning here together, so let's just brave this weather ourselves,
Unlikely sources yawn,
Hate suit endorsements,
Calm etheric being,
Finding better meanings,
I will always make the time,
I still feel I'm in my prime,
And when you need it then just call me and a way I'll try to find,
Help yourself, but if you need it ask someone else,
We are all stuck here together so might as well, help out,
Save yourself, and if you can then lift your hand and save someone else,
We are all drowning here together, so let's just brave this weather ourselves,
There's rarely a sane reason for why,
And money is a treason I won't buy,
Take your finely spun lies, and stick them in your pie holes,
I will always make the time,
I still feel in my prime,
And mine is yours is yours is mine
Still in my prime
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
The Busking Song (la, la, la) - By Andy Jackson
Standing on the street singing,
Just a musician trying to make a living,
I'm smiling and I really do try,
To give some of it to you as you pass on by,
A smile costs you nothing,
I offer you one here in this song,
Just please always remember,
It's best to pass a smile on,
la, la, la
la, la, la
Standing on the street singing,
Just sharing the love I have within,
I'm full of pride but I will let it slide,
If criticism's constructive and euro's don't hide,
A smile costs you nothing,
I offer you one here in this song,
Just please always remember,
It's best to pass a smile on,
la, la, la
la, la, la
|
||||
7. |
Cat Found a Home
02:43
|
|||
|
Cat Found a Home - By Andy Jackson
Curled up sleeping soundly,
I bet that you think you found me,
But it's not true, catch a clue,
You didn't find me, I found you,
Won't obey or raise the paws,
Cross me and you get the claws,
I'll get all around your feet,
Until you serve the jellied meat,
I am the secret ruler of the house and outer border,
and i'll sleep up on your shoulder until I get a little older,
You are my human slave and there is no mistaking that,
You've done alright, it's passable, for this choosey cat,
This will be fine, for this feline, this cat found a home,
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
Sexual Definition in the Age of the Swap - by Andy Jackson
Come here, come there, come see, come stare,
Come get what you want just don't cum in my hair,
In the age of the swap then you get what you've got,
Unless you go for the chop then you get a job lot,
She's the prettiest man I have ever seen,
She sits down to tinkle in the ladies latrine,
But's it's not hard to tell what that vagina had been,
Are these the pictures in the staff magazine?
Understandably so, it's just so hard to know,
Which holes to root for, which passage to go,
And if you base your judgement on any TV show,
You don't just pick a river, you pick which way to row,
Come here, come there, come when? come where?
Come buy some more tat from her with facial hair,
In the age of the swap you could end up surprised,
With a mind fully opened by unexpected size,
He's the prettiest woman I ever did meet,
And I don't want information on how they constructed his meat,
But you can't complain with a package this complete,
Just sign here, pay up and then please take a seat,
It's just so hard to know, understandably so,
Which holes to shoot for, which goals your own,
And with such grey areas you could be in the zone,
While just trying safely to get yourself home,
The man within the woman is within a mass of wo
It makes for an interesting show
|
||||
9. |
Quiz Master
04:14
|
|||
|
Quiz Master - By Andy Jackson
Silent countdown till recording,
Minor Celeb's camera absorbing,
Put the ear piece in and smile,
Take control of this shit pile,
Tabloid wit with snippers aimed,
Picking the corpses of the shamed,
Still only two leave here as winners,
And only one of them faces shivers,
Welcomes aside, go question caster,
Showtime teeth from the Quiz Mater.
Early rounds keeping things easy,
Banter bordering on sleazy,
The bubbly bimbo's been saved,
Less attractive's meet early grave,
Shock when the comedian said it,
But it will be fixed in the edit,
Make up girls rush hearing the cut,
To powder the sheen and girdle the gut,
Looks lost to lighting and foundation plaster,
The world weary sighs of the Quiz Master,
A brief break between filming,
Sipping luke warm Darjeeling,
Put back the ear piece and smile,
Now reached the final mile,
Just ten questions left to ask,
A final sip from the hip-flask,
Tension builds as the envelope opens,
Answers screamed before questions spoken,
For someone it will end in disaster,
At the behest of the Quiz Master,
Swat teams storm the set,
With an embezzler to get,
It seems prize money's gone missing,
And a runners been tell and kissing,
You ain't seen scumone move faster,
Then an entrapped Quiz Master,
|
||||
10. |
Count Your Blessings
04:29
|
|||
|
Count Your Blessings - By Andy Jackson
Try to pay attention, the world keeps tumbling by,
It's all too much to mention, but it's still a blessing to try,
Breath a deeper lungful, and aim to hold your head high,
It's hard to break the tension, but it's still a blessing to try,
Because I love you, and want you to love me to,
But that's something you can only do, once you have started loving you,
Because I love me, i don't mean that arrogantly,
But because I love me, I can possibly love you too,
Try to pay attention, otherwise you won't have a clue,
There's so much required, but it's still a blessing to do,
Take in every moment, don't try to decipher for true,
It's not just a chance to be truthful, it's also a blessing to do,
Because I love you, and want you to love me to,
But that's something you can only do, once you have started loving you,
Because I love me, i don't mean that arrogantly,
But because I love me, I can possibly love you too,
So much keeps occurring, we have to keep learning,
Standing still to go backwards, finding the change awkward
Because I love you, and want you to love me to,
But that's something you can only do, once you have started loving you,
Because I love me, i don't mean that arrogantly,
But because I love me, I can possibly love you too,
|
||||
11. |
Salt
03:27
|
|||
|
Salt - By Andy Jackson
Could I please have another,
it's entirely my fault,
This one's been spoilt,
I thought this sugar was salt,
I do like sweet and sour,
but this ain't par for the course,
This alfresco salads ruined by a sugary sauce,
Now I am pretty hungry,
and you'll get charged with assault,
If you make me eat salad,
with sugar not salt
sugar not salt
salt
I will pay for another,
I accept I was at fault,
You can hardly blame me,
For just wanting some salt.
wanting some salt
salt
|
||||
12. |
Seriously
03:36
|
|||
|
Seriously – by Andy Jackson
I’d worry about the worry lines,
They aren’t just a sign of the times,
Have a laugh and you will see,
Life’s best taken less seriously,
Shake the papers causing all the cuts,
And ignore all the morons’ moronic tuts,
I think you’ll find that it’s best to be,
One who takes life less seriously,
Anger is only inside you, and just because you hate the ways,
Means diddly squat in the overall plot,
Best just to put it away,
I mean that seriously,
I must stress the importance of stress,
Tight frowns hardly ever know best,
So stand in a field and pretend you’re a tree,
The first step to taking it less seriously,
For a smile is a stylish breeze,
And no heart is so cold it could freeze,
Just be everything that you want to be,
And stop taking it all seriously,
Rage is only inside you, and shouting your head off won’t help,
See what you’ve got is a hell of a lot,
Now come outside and play,
I mean it, seriously,
|
||||
![[adj] - Andy D Jackson image](https://f4.bcbits.com/img/0000028161_10.jpg)
[adj] - Andy D Jackson Utrecht, Netherlands
Andy Jackson is a travelling Singer/Songwriter, improv comedian and musician. Working on his 4 seasons piece (an album written and recorded each season of 2011)
If you like [adj] - Andy D Jackson, you may also like:
In A Time Of Trouble A Wild Exultation
by Jaye Bartell
A stunning and sparse follow-up to last year's "Light Enough" from Brooklyn songwriter Jaye Bartell.
go to album
Terrific instrumental bluegrass and Americana from this L.A. musician that is as big as the desert sky.
go to album
Speakeasy - Live 2016
by John Robins
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
go to album
Taylor Ham, Egg, And Cheese
by Chris Gethard
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone.
go to album
Just Putting It Out There
by Aparna Nancherla
This dry, wry, gently absurdist comedian's first album is the inaugural release for Tig Notaro's new label, Bentzen Ball Records.
go to album
Mainstream American Comic
by Hari Kondabolu
Pre-order the latest hilarious musings of this Brooklyn Comic from Kill Rock Stars.
go to album
1 of 8 albums released exclusively on Bandcamp by experimental musician and renowned Sonic Youth producer.
go to album
