In the Shed

by [adj] - Andy D Jackson

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about

In the Shed was written in April by Andy Jackson as he was preparing to leave his office job life and go on an adventure. The result of which was 12 songs which were recorded in the Shed.

credits

released November 5, 2011

All songs written by Andy Jackson
Guitar/Vocals - Andy Jackson
Bass/Backing Vox - Nick Jackson
Percussion - Roy Hale Jr

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all rights reserved

about

[adj] - Andy D Jackson Utrecht, Netherlands

Andy Jackson is a travelling Singer/Songwriter, improv comedian and musician. Working on his 4 seasons piece (an album written and recorded each season of 2011)

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Track Name: Milked It
Milked it – by Andy Jackson

Mobility scooters race to charity shops,
As single mums scrap over half price escallops,
Natter drug dispensers pull out all the stops,
Emphysema pancakes from dust in the crops,

We are the people, The people of this planet earth,
Why have we milked it? Milked it for all it was worth?
We didn’t need to, Leaving it there wouldn’t of hurt,
We should protect it, Protect it for all we are worth,
 
Car screeches and the dance of the seatbelt begins,
The old lady on the corner balls up invisible string,
Shell suited supermarket raiders do their thing,
As greasy cheeked kiddies in harmony sing
 
We are the children, The children of this planet earth,
Why have you milked it? Milked it for all it was worth?
You didn’t need to, Leaving it all there wouldn’t of hurt,
We have to rebuild it, Rebuild it for all that we’re worth

Stubborn little pumpkins need to carve a new smile,
Today’s fashion statement tomorrow runs a mile,
And you think that you will always be in style?
 
Orange girls bleaching their hair tills it’s white,
As oily pecks mass debate straight through the night,
With eyes tightly closed shouting ‘Everything’s alright’
 
We are the beings, The beings of this planet earth,
We really shouldn’t have milked it, Milked it for all it was worth,
Still we can now try, Now try to put everything right,
Stop pointing the fingers of blame, And clean up all of this bull sh*te
 
Then everything might be alright x3
Track Name: If You Asked Me To
If You Asked Me To – by Andy Jackson

I would swim through sewage naked with piranhas in pursuit,
I would walk along power lines in a C3PO suit,
I would pick the rarest orchid from the deadliest of places,
I would go up to a scary gang and pull some silly faces,
I would gladly give my kidney from back alley surgery,
I would steal a loaf of banana bread to feed your family,

These are just a handful of the things that I would do,
But only if you asked me, if you asked me to,
 
I would attach crocodile clips to my dangly dells,
I would spend time in a nursing home and savour all the smells,
I would set my feet in concrete and then run a marathon,
I would ride a bike with blinky light as if I were in Tron,
I would gladly get a nose ring with a chain for you to hold,
I would gleefully pluck out every hair if I had been told,
These are just a handful of the things that I would do,
But only if you, only if you, personally asked me to,
 
Anything to prove how much I adore who you are,
I’d even wear your underwear and special push up bra,
I’d even pack my life up and then just see how far,
We could get together without the aid of a car,
 
Anything you wanted then I would gladly do,
But only if you asked me, if you asked me to.
Track Name: Anthropomorphise This!
Anthropomorphise This! – By Andy Jackson

The spider treads the age old webs, She comes across skins she had previously shed,
She wraps her breakfast of the bluebottle dead, Grabs a quick coffee and then heads back to bed,
From her slumber she is forced to awake, As a message comes through her web set on vibrate,
For the intruder made one big mistake, spider’s alarm is hard to penetrate,

Anthropomorphise to help make some more sense out of this universe,
Is this the final show, intermission, opening night or dress rehearse,

oooooo
 
Blackbird sits singing his woes to the sky, As his giant metal brothers leave trails as they fly,
Blackbird gets called names and doesn’t know why, The colour of his feathers should even apply,
Robin bounces in to offer support, Blackbird is suspicious and not easily bought,
Still Robin wings him a pamphlet that he thought, Could help blackbird take the racist pigs to court,
 
Anthropomorphise to help make some more sense out of this universe,
Is this the final show, intermission, opening night or just dress rehearse,
 
Fox sly and agile noses through the bins, Grabs mouthfuls of leftovers from a takeaway binge,
Fox sits and indulges in all the greasy sins, And flicks her head sideways to see through her fringe,
The mouse stands squinting to get a better view, He asks himself ‘what would honey badger do?’
The pigeons all smirk as they muster their coup, To circle the fox and divebomb her with poo,
 
Anthropomorphise to help make some more sense out of this universe,
Is this the final show, intermission, opening night or just dress rehearse,
Track Name: Do It With You
Do It With You – By Andy Jackson

I can’t stop thinking about you,
My mind has been fully compromised,
You have infected every one of my dreams,
So it must come as no surprise,

That I want to do you, do things with you,
Jump through flaming rings for you,
Stare at pretty things with you,
In fact everything that I do, I want to do it, to do it with you.
 
I close my eyes and you are standing there,
Making me go all giddy inside,
Your glowing and making me jelly knee,
I wear my love for you with pride,
 
Coz I want to do you, do things with you,
Shed several skins with you,
Topple despot kings with you,
Here is an obvious clue; I want to do it, to do it with you.
 
Special occasions happen everyday,
The only gloomy times are if you are away,
You are the sculptor and I am your clay,
I adore everything that you do or you say,
 
And I want to do you, do things with you,
Fly forever on these wings with you,
This isn’t just a fling with you,
You are what I want to do; I want to do it, to do it with you.
Track Name: Broken Heart Possibilities
Broken Heart Possibilities – by Andy Jackson

Grace sits holding her dignity shoes,
Petals freefalling then ripping in two,
While the socks become grass stained, she hasn’t a clue,
What can a broken heart possibly do?
 
Cry in the tissues that were left behind,
Feeling short-sighted but not quite yet blind,
Grace be misplaced and so lost in her mind,
What can a broken heart possibly find?

If everything tells you it’s wrong,
Then what makes you still soldier on?
The river won’t stop, unless you are a rock,
It’s best just to go with the flow, then you will know
 
Once love has shown it’s true self,
Grace can detect all the wealth,
Unless this love’s down on its health,
A broken heart can mend itself,
 
Time will help pain fade away,
Gracefully pain will decay,
And then bliss comes back off holiday,
The heart is now mended and ready to play,
 
If everything tells you it’s right,
Then go with the flow of the light,
It won't come as a fuss or a fight,
The heart glows radiant and bright,
Track Name: One Frumpy Grump On
One Frumpy Grump On – By Andy Jackson

That’s one frumpy grump on you are sporting there,
Do you need a cold shower to help clear the air?
Just wash the sod off and don’t do your hair,
Try cleansing your back of your cloak of despair
 
Metaphorical washing the dirt from your soul,
Good deeds and kind thoughts are the worthiest goal,
Once straight and narrow you should show some control,
And if you need extra funding you can dance round the pole,
 
The finger of blame is generally a reflection,
You should always do good for your own self protection,
Positive karma saves you from self deception,
Always think good for your own self perfection

Metaphorical washing the dirt from your soul,
Good deeds and kind thoughts are the worthiest goal,
Once straight and narrow you should show some control,
And if you need extra feeding have a soft bacon roll,
 
That’s one frumpy grump on you inherited there,
Just like the dweebs on the box, you don’t care,
Coz you’re not even happy if you’re a millionaire,
Now please wear more then the regulation flare.
The customers are starting to stare.
Track Name: I Want
I Want – By Andy Jackson

I want chocolate, I want cheese,
I want rice and I want pees,
I want little pixie disco balls to hang off of my knees,
I want short working hours,
With breaks when I please,
I want kisses from my misses,
And bling rings for my keys,
I want butterscotch flavoured ice-cream,
Stored at twenty five degrees,
I want to swim naked in the dark,
In a pond of anti-freeze,

I want to want for nothing, Because nothings what I’ll get,
On second thoughts let’s sell it all, To a buyer and collect.
 
I want honour, I want respect,
I want to love what they reject,
I want laser beams and magic creams that you cannot detect,
I want a mirror,
Which I choose what it reflects,
I want a rabid bunny chum,
I can tell who to infect,
I want bliss up to my eyeballs,
And answers always correct,
I want responsibilities,
Or just something to protect,
 
I want to want for nothing, Because nothings what I’ll get,
On second thoughts let’s sell it all, To a buyer and collect.
Track Name: Long Walk Back Home
Long Walk Back Home – by Andy Jackson
 
Just had himself one too many to drive, And public transport has all stopped for the night,
The phantom wings feel so heavy on his back, Yet he drags them along on his long walk back home.
 
Drag, drag your wings along on the long walk back home.
 
The satellite stars silently cross the sky, There’s an occasional gust from the trucks passing by,
The emotional burdens don’t cut him any slack, and his old leather jacket weighs heavy on his back,
From across the valley they can all hear him moan, as he mumbles alone on the long walk back home
 
Moan, grumble and groan, on the long walk back home
 
A field to allow his bare feet to calm down, He hasn’t had his shoes since he exited town,
The grass feels so slimy between his bare toes, He had been pretty sure that he had worn clothes,
But now naked he stands and stares at the stars, No longer can he hear the passing by cars,
A strange light descends from just above his head, not like the reading light that sits by his bed,
A force from somewhere else won't leave him alone, blocking his path on the long walk back home
 
Block, blocking his path, on the long walk back home.
 
From the light stepped a being of glorious stature, with magnificence that simple words fail to capture,
Telepathically explaining the meanings of life, the reasons for loving, the troubles, the strife,
Our man drops to the floor and begins to cry, he's asks the being to please explain why,
He had been chosen, he wasn't trying to be rude, but why tell him this while he's in the nude?
The being explained that just between us, men take information direct through the penis,
So bowing his head and clutching his tool, he wandered with the being on the long walk back home,

Holding, holding his tool, on the long walk back home

Now it seems to be morning and the birds are awake, Time has gone missing to hangover headache,
No one will believe him or his tale of wonder, The light was the lightning and the sound was the thunder,
But no matter what's said, he always knows, that in the stars somewhere that being has his clothes
To keep itself warm while along, on it's long flight back home,

Long, long, long flight back home. 
Track Name: Vitamins
Vitamins – by Andy Jackson

Vibrations shake us from our slumber time,
Better awake when outside it is fine,
Don’t want to waste this beautiful sunshine,
Let’s get us some vitamin D,
 
Flirtations brink us up against the wall,
Prepare the gentry for their curtain call,
Here is some orange juice now drink it all,
Get yourself some vitamin C,
 
Stand in the garden as we greet the day,
All clouded dream states have been brushed away,
All I ever want to do with you is play,
To have a little vitamin B,
 
So the door closes as I slip outside,
As swiftly upstairs you retreat to hide,
Count down the hours till you’re by my side,
And I can get myself some vitamin A
Track Name: Out The Back Smoking
Out The Back Smoking – by Andy Jackson

Rise to the challenge, it’s what you are here for,
Get out and walk around, legs love to explore,
To get a better handle I will show you the door,
Locked in the knock out on the twenty third floor,
 
Where has your spirit of adventure gone?
The worlds not scary, the TV’s just wrong,
Slap on some sun-cream and a tight purple thong,
Or even better go with nothing on,

Only robots should do repetitive tasks
I’ll be out the back smoking if anyone asks
 
Every moment is a possible memory worth having,
As long as you do something rather then just planning,
Fill your life to the brim with stuff you love doing,
That will blow away all of the pointless moaning,
 
Where has your spirit of adventure gone?
The worlds not scary, the TV’s just wrong,
Slap on some sun-cream and a tight purple thong,
Or even better go with nothing on,
 
Only robots should do repetitive tasks
I’ll be out the back smoking if anyone asks
I'll be out the back smoking if anyone asks

But they never do
Track Name: Blank Hole Memory
Blank Hole Memory – by Andy Jackson

Big moon, waves of change,
Shaking the walls and bars of this cage,
Cocoon, emergent stage,
Redefining the source of a living wage,

Because the man doesn’t deserve,
To reap rewards from my hard work,
My heart just isn’t in it,
At work I’m trousers and a shirt,
The smile is just my show piece,
While contempt is on the increase,
I’ll watch the hours tick away,
A blank hole memory swallows my day,
 
Big heart, no caves of blame,
Shattering the fear and anger game,
Cocoon, shed the frame,
Emerge unique and I will do the same,
 
Because the man doesn’t deserver,
All the tax breaks from my hard work,
My heart was never in it,
Their empty trousers and a shirt,
This smile is just a show piece,
Interests on a steady decrease,
I watch the hours tick away,
Blank hole memory swallows the day,

Everyday just watching the time waste away,
Only when I don’t feel like a slave to the wage,
Does the blank hole close to allow memory to stay,
 
Life is so exciting when it’s being embraced,
Otherwise it’s boring with a load of egg on face,
So I try each day to remember little drips of grace,
And leave a memory to contently fill the space,
Track Name: The Last Song
The Last Song – By Andy Jackson

This is the last song,
The last one I’m singing,
At least for now,
I’ll be leaving here grinning,

Take the final bow and gracefully fall out,
You never know for sure, there’s always doubt
 
This is the last song,
The first for a while,
To try to finalise,
Something in style,
 
Take the easy route and gracefully bow out,
You never know for sure, there is always doubt,
You only think you know, what it is all about,

Something else will be, just around the corner,
You’re guaranteed to see, you will be reborn,
 
This is the last song,
The last one I’m singing,
Thank you for wasting,
Some of your time listening,
 
Take the 5th and push the bar of the fire exit out,
You never know for sure, there is always doubt,
It can all be resolved; there is no need to shout,
 
This is the last song.
So now i'll stop sing…